The Fact Of The Matter Is, You Probably Have Herpes And Don’t Even Know It

ASHLEY FERN • APR 23, 2014 - 5:53PM

Well, happy humpday to you and I’m sorry I’m about to ruin it. Herpes — the Karen of all STIs — is apparently more prevalent than you may think and, unfortunately, once you’re infected, that sh*t does not go away. EVER.

So before you go home and bang that guy from the bar you met 13 minutes ago you better think twice, or at least make sure he wraps it up.

Unlike herpes’ friends, chlamydia and gonorrhea, that can be cured by a nice antibiotic, this sucker sticks with you for life.

Apparently, the odds you have genital herpes increases with age (no sh*t since the number of people you’ve had sex with goes up as time goes on).

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Isn’t that just basic statistics? The more sex you have, the greater chance of you getting herpes — obviously.

You also have a greater likelihood of contracting herpes if you are single.

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Again — this is a no brainer because when you are single, you have the ability to sleep with anyone you want without repercussion (unless you’re my piece of sh*t ex-boyfriend who did that regardless).

Ready to vomit?

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Awesome. Day ruined.

Most people with genital herpes don’t have symptoms… excuse me? Wouldn’t you think this STI would have the most overt symptoms? Also, most routine STI screenings don’t test for herpes.

Thank you, but I’m pretty sure we learned that in health class, and if you want to be tested for it you have to ASK to be. Cue the needle and uncomfortable blood test.

Best part? The US Center for Disease Control and Prevention doesn’t recommend screening for this virus basically because, once you have the it, you can’t do anything about it. How about preventing it from spreading? No? Never thought about that did you, CDC?

This is their exact reasoning:

“It is not clear whether knowledge of a herpes diagnosis improves the health of people taking the tests and reduces spread of HSV in the population.”

Ummm, newsflash: a person infected with herpes is two times as likely to contract HIV as a herpes-free individual.

Excuse me while I continue to vomit and call my gyno.

via Vox,